Anyone share the same genre music with me, Haha.. Lately, is being a busy and hot soup life.. everything seem coming so fast like 'weeeeenioon' air jet flies.... As for me, life goes on, been busy sending resume to companies around the continent.. What do I really want to do or work as?? well.. I wanted to be a author who wrote a pieces of masterpiece so the future generation does re-alive me when they read about it... Some ask, hey I thought You are working as graphic creator, why suddenly you jump??

Well, Sometimes working aint about money to me... is the meaning and remembrance that important... Photos tell a dozen story, but no one is there to tell the story..it is meaningless... and even sometimes Photos and Author is not perfect yet... click on new tab and go to Youtube, and type in Katy perry-That One who got away... is a short music video, but it tells a life .. and that is what I m aftering..

Well, I took My Fiance to a theme parks other weekend and we have our lovely time there... even we forgot the attire for the occasion yet we enjoy much as time together, as a family, and that I one day I live without my computer..is like ' dizzzz.. get lost lappy'' lol... funny eh.... and we does enjoy and being together in a family outing upgrade a relationship to maturity level where we both get more understanding even we does fight like kids... well that all from me now..

BeAr Out, take care.

Baby, I am Sorry

Here He goes again.... Giving me reason about something I want and He told me he gonna be busy tomorow.. but.. He never let me know what He is going to busy on and as a girlfriend, Yes.. I am dissapointed that He never let me know what I should know.. 'BANNGG!' I slammed the car door and walked into my house... After I took a shower and my lunch.. in tiring and dissapointed mood.. i send him some text with heart broken words.. and I went to bed for a evening nap...

At 5pm, I awake... and I didnt receive any text nor replies from him.. and I decided to call him... and found out he is asleep.. that make me more heart broken.... I decided not to talk to him anymore because he never does what he promises me... and I felt he cheated on me and thinks I am a fool... After sometimes, I stop myself to see him and I didnt want to answer his call.. and maybe this is the end for us..

One day, while I am surfing the internet... a window pops out and is Winnie,it say 'How are You?' and we chat for awhile... after that chat... I cried the longest time of my life... She told me bout him... and finally I understand what he does and why he does... He didnt gave me a new phone i ask for because he wanted me to focus on my studies and He didnt want my mum to nag me for playing often as my mum expect me to enter local university.. and He didnt pay his phone bill because he wants to save up some money so.... He can buy me a engagement ring.. and He sleep and rest alot because he got some kind of memories decease that he is hiding me from... He never want me to know anything because...... He wanted to act strong and be a man for me...and I felt so heart broken because I never take a chance to understand or to ask him...

Now, I wonder..... how he feels when I scream at him? how heart broken he gonna be, and Do i know he love me in a way I m not an option?? and I wonder how heartbroken is him when I slammed the door and sent him those harsh text but he never scold me and This is what I am... a cold blooded girlfriend... with tears I grabbed my phone and tries to call him the whole day... but no one answered...

After a few week, Winnie invited me to a party... a party where no one laugh... I m here standing infront of his memorial yard... Winnie told me... He was having a hard time fighting the Pain alone and without anyone support he gave up... and He has go back to God's side but he left me a letter,

'Dear,

Sorry from hiding some many stuff from you lately... in the box... there is your phone and a laptop...I hope you get colour bright result to enroll into one of the universities... From Nathan'

I turned on the laptop and I cried even more... He editted our first date photo till the recent once as screen savers.... and I make a big missunderstand ... and I dont have that chances to say this.... Nathan, Baby, I am sorry.

A short life story of love from BeAr.

Love Language

Well,is been a long time this masterpiece of mine have been cover with dust.. *whooo* give it a blow.. man..this electronic diary is stuff with dust... sorry dear reader and fans of mine,thanks for you guys who supports..

BEAR is home..

Well, I been around the world,across city and swims the sea lately... and I found that no matter what happen,no matter what subject, and no matter what you are... LOVE does play roles between it..so, i would like to share something with you guys here..

First... BeAr's Birthday.

when it comes to birthday... many people thinks that they need a big celebration and throw a wasted party and invite a bunch of donkeys and monkeys to attends and end up driving up crashing or getting someone to be your lucky kids breeder.. well, I celebrate it with my family.. a simple dinner and a simple cake.. my present is the very long lasting memories of my families and my grandparents.. mostly my grandpa..because he thought me what life is.. and my mum.. a super lady in the outside and a caring mother inside..even my sister was mad.. somehow.. she is a God gift to me.. and finally.. my special lady.. well.. I call her little annoyer.. but deep inside.. this annoyer calm me when i need someone there.. This is my lasting memories.

Second... My Little Annoyers

Well, She throw temper when i call her that.. but trust me... he is a baby on temper... i cant stop laughing when she do so.. and.. when she is inactive sleeping... that is a look where all boys wanted and desired.. as for her... she is cute, smart, evil, annoyed and crazy... my mum used to said..' she is crazy because to make a perfect couple' as i m somehow... not that normal...

My life was going well now,and to Dear Mazzy, i got your sms/text.. dont worry.. Bear wont leave this page and thanks for your support.. and thank you to Derriol, Azeem, Beh Xian and Cerina... I will and always continue this blog.. to make you guys sleep better and to my little newphew.. Thank you for the wonderful drawing

Love, Bear is Back

My Updates! Yeah~~

So,Hi guys.. Lately, is been a life for me... I been through the good and bad in life somehow.. and there is some factor which appear in my life that i wish to thanks to.. Even i come to this world alone and cold... but their have made my life full of colours.. made me a normal happy guy who going through his twenties now..

Family,
Well i grow up in a typical chinese style village.. I had a very happy lovely pair grandparents.. My grandpa is the one who cares and love me the most. even when i was in young ages, He teaches me about life.. wake me up by 4am and bring me to a shop which he call it 'Kopitiam'.. and there is where he have his coffee with hugging me on the lap and i was still cuddling with my bolster.. My grandma, she is a good cook and i grow up with eathing the dish she cook.. my Grandma specialty.. The old style 'wallet egg' haha.. and my uncles and aunties like to hug me and play with me before my cousins are here.. and i was the king of the family.. which under the lovely care of my mother.. My mother, Even life get hard.she did not give up and love me in and out.. even she wont let me know when she is sad.. and she always put on her smile for us.. in the next couple days,she is going to england and i hope she will be fine there, Even i grow up in the way that she plan, but she always be there to love and support me, Mother, sorry being rebel during my teens days. now... This is the family that make me realize what my life really about..'Harmony'.

Bowie.

She is my girlfriend whom seem ordinary and she always have the 'Girl next door' look... Even she said she is not perfect and often said that she is a bad girlfriend.. but in my heart, no one is perfect, She is 99.9% perfectly send to me and we have pass through the life as couple for half year, she is a good candidate to be a wife.. having all the good point and charater as a wife figure.. yes, i will never told her that i love her forever, i love her every ten year.. and the ten years can be continuos.. i do not say i love you forever because if one day i die or unlucky.. i walk away from life.. i May make her the woerld saddest girl.. and i find my happiness in her.

Friends,

Friends come and go like merry go round, but i have a bunch of special friends that support me no matter how.. and they were all from different country and race..whatever we do, we don in groups, no matter how hard life be, no matter how crazy we are... we are the best of the buddies... Carter, Wai mun, Wai Keong, Mindy, Jimmy, Jerome, Mawter, Carrie and much more.. is been 10 years we all are bound.. and guys.. is quite crazy.. but i love you all.. * Cheers* for friendship!!

So, this is my latest updates.... Thank to You all... You made Aloysuis Brown excist... I love You guys and for my mum and my girlfriend.. from the deep of my heart.. I LoVe You!

I Honour You as My Wife till Death Drag us Apart

The alarm gone off again... Mark,The policeman run toward his superior office... when he arrive with grasping air which hardly getting into his lungs.. He report to the detective,Mr Zack... 'is him again... he appears again.. this time is the grocery stall and we have two victim... and both of them were stabbed in the chest.. and Zack rushed to the field and try his best toi get the proof that may close this 8 years murder case.. but.. like always.. he come back to the station with full dissapointment as there is no evidences left... while sitting on his working desk... He try to figure out what is this murderer try to play..

Looking at the murderer's profile... Nicholas Polwe, age 25, working as a therapist before he start to commit murder 8 years ago.. Nicholas.. A therapist who work with his wife and owns a clinic near road 14.. His wife.. Amber Tayson..24.. who work as the nurse in his clinic before she died 8 years ago in a bulgary whish take place in their clinic... According to the report,is May 5th,early morning at 9.30pm.. a group of 9 people who charged into the shop and start the robbery which armed with ak47 and shotgun.. it only take 15 minutes to rob the clinic... and Nicholas's wife was raped and shot in the head which making it a fast fatal and Nicholas was shot near the lungs... however,he survive through it.

After the surgery.. Nicholas have to face the lost of his carreer and his wife... January 2nd,Nicholas started to lost control of himself and started to act weird.. He was been sue by his nieghbour for 4 times and end up in the mental ward on february the 8th.. But Nicholas make a full recover after a year and he waas discharged from the mental ward.. but he was still on medical treatment....According to the paperworks. Nicholas is what they call multi depress condition people which can be trigger by the past...

May 12..The first time where murderer happens is in an apartment, Nicholas had been trigger and he lost control of himself.. he get a chopping knife and run to his neighbour apartment where he stab the man 8 times in the chest,the woman 2 times and kill thier daughter who is 14 by kick her to death... Since then... Zack Markship had been assign to follow the case and on April 18... a dead body was found in the park where the man was stab in the neck 19 times which almost lost his head... and the murder weapon is a chopping knife... This time.. warrents had been out... 'Nicholas was a dangerous man'... but however... this is not the end..

After 5 years... the case had increase to 6 where all victim were male and found dead with a sum of wound that made by a chopping knife and Zack was almost blank and there seem that there is not way to stop this kiling and as days when by... it begins to make the whole investigation team to give up on the case... On the summer night of june 14... a dead body was found in front of the police department where it was killed by the same method but the different things is nicholas left the police a note... it say..

'I know you guys are having a great pain to nail me down and when i was writing this letter,i was clear and i wish you all a good luck... the next 48 hour.... there will be another dead body will be found.. From: N.'

As soon Zack receive the note.. he order the police department to get nicholas before it is too late... but, as soon the next 48 hour past.... The police department found 2 dead body whioch hanging up on the city hall... and it make a total 9 murder case..... in 8 years.. Nicholas had killed 11 people... and it was a teriffying news to hit the town..so.. Zack is the one who got the blame.. and he was doing what he could to put an end for all this murder...

As Zack was sipping the last drip of his coffee... The policeman found a dead body in a clinic where Nicholas used to work and the Body was been identified as Nicholas Polwe.. as Zack arrive at the scene... He found a note beside Nicholas's body which entitled to Zack the detective.... as soon Zack open the envelope.. he saw a wedding ring and a wedding card.. Zack know Nicholas motive behind this murdering case...

This is what written on the note that Nicholas wrote to Zack

'Detective Zack, as soon you find this letter.. I think i am no longer here to commit another murder case which frusted you... is all happened since the death of my wife 8 years ago... I had carriedd out an investigate to find out who and where those armed robber who kill my wife and i had my revenge to kill all of them... On the day when they rob my clinic... I was up to some event.. I was preparing to bring my wife to a dinner and to celebrate our anniversary by make her marry me again... the ring that you found is the ring i hope to give it to my wife 8 years ago.. because i love my wife... because they end the life which suppose to be happy ever after... i had decided to kill them to protect my death wife honour..'

#To protect the honour and your love ones.. sometimes... life is not that important anymore... if that was stupid... then Nicholas choose to die protecting the love and the honour rather to live in a coward way... The Owes.... I honour you as my wife till death drag us apart...

{BeAr Wangler}

Happy Birthday to you....

'Happy birthday to you.... happy birthday to you.... happy birthday to you.. My Baby'.. continue with a crying tone... today is your 19 birthday and i was here with the cheese cake that once you like to have on your birthday.... It reminds me alot about you... and believe it when i say i miss you...

Still remember last year,the year where we meet each other when we are working part time near the convienent store.. is kinda funny where you look so angry when i accidentally drop a can of baked bean on the floor and you scolded me with the charming voice... at first, I found you are pretty annoying.. because of the bossy look in that working uniform.. and that was our first meeting.. Gosh.. is one outstanding one...

Did you remember that on the last day of working where you were crying near the stake of book in the very corner of the shop.. and i walked over and out of the blue i started to ask and make a laugh on your face... i told you..no matter how, i be there when you need me.. and since then we become buddies..

After exchanging our contact, we almost text each other everyday and tell each other about our days and calm each other when we were in bad day.. And during the fall,we planned to go out for a movie... it was so hilarious when we argue about what to watch.. you are going for the romantic Romeo and Juliet and i was getting my guts ready for Mission Impossible 2...but at last.. both of us when for the romantic one where we seated on F4 and you cried on my shoulder when they die..and i hug you so tight and that is the first time we gets so close.

On that winter,I invited you to my house for thanksgiving and christmas party where you were so nervous and confused what to wear and in the end... you showed up in front of my foyer with a white blouse and a long trouser and the first question you asked me' What are you laughing at?'... and we enjoyed that christmas eve night with harmony and peace...That night we have alot of wain were your face turn red and mine nose turn rudolf..And with my guts ready... i told you that i might in love with you but... you ask me to said it when i was fully concious.

Another 4 hour will be the arrival of new year... this time i was sure that i m clear and good... so i ask you again... and on that special night.. we have our first couple new year count down...Since then we were the sweetest couple in town, we make cupid proud by making those single become couples and couples become fathers and mothers...

We had a bad arguement that march... you ran out from the house with tears falling down and i chase you and hug you at the porch of your house... i held your hand... i sweared..i will never let you go.. i will respect you and make you one of the happiest lady among the 9 planet..and we have our first kiss there..and i promise myself that i would never dump you alone.. and love you down to the earth crust.

That night was a silent and cool night... and i was hungry and sick on bed.. you cried sadly and make me some food even you can fry a pouch egg.. you're checking my temperature all night long and holding my hand whispering softly to my ears about our future so i would heal and hug you again..but my ill is getting more severe and i was admitted to the hospital... Sorry i made you worry..

That morning after you had your breakfast and while you walking to the school... there was a robbery happening near the corner and shots were fired... and you are terrify,screaming and running for your life... i was just around the end.. when the robbers reverse their car... they run my baby over... they end you life.... do they realized you mean the whole world to me.... and i was unable to rescue you..I held your hand in mine... and i said.. Oh God, Please live her.. I beg for Your Mercy... and as soon we arrive to the emergency room.. You hold me close... Whispering in a dying tone...'Dear, i am sorry that i could not make it.. but..... this is the present that i bought for you... happy birthday...' And that last breath... you dump me alone in sorrows... My Heart was breaking... i hug your cold body and scream for help but... the docters was unable to have you back........

'Even My heart break and shattered to small pieces... i still miss and love you with these pieces'

in a crying tone.... This boy sat near the girl's grave to celebrate her birthday... he misses her alot... because of twisted fate... his love had left him memories and every year..he came to his beloved grave to celebrate her birthday and chat with her so.. their happy memories will be alive again...

>Bear Wangler<