Here He goes again.... Giving me reason about something I want and He told me he gonna be busy tomorow.. but.. He never let me know what He is going to busy on and as a girlfriend, Yes.. I am dissapointed that He never let me know what I should know.. 'BANNGG!' I slammed the car door and walked into my house... After I took a shower and my lunch.. in tiring and dissapointed mood.. i send him some text with heart broken words.. and I went to bed for a evening nap...
At 5pm, I awake... and I didnt receive any text nor replies from him.. and I decided to call him... and found out he is asleep.. that make me more heart broken.... I decided not to talk to him anymore because he never does what he promises me... and I felt he cheated on me and thinks I am a fool... After sometimes, I stop myself to see him and I didnt want to answer his call.. and maybe this is the end for us..
One day, while I am surfing the internet... a window pops out and is Winnie,it say 'How are You?' and we chat for awhile... after that chat... I cried the longest time of my life... She told me bout him... and finally I understand what he does and why he does... He didnt gave me a new phone i ask for because he wanted me to focus on my studies and He didnt want my mum to nag me for playing often as my mum expect me to enter local university.. and He didnt pay his phone bill because he wants to save up some money so.... He can buy me a engagement ring.. and He sleep and rest alot because he got some kind of memories decease that he is hiding me from... He never want me to know anything because...... He wanted to act strong and be a man for me...and I felt so heart broken because I never take a chance to understand or to ask him...
Now, I wonder..... how he feels when I scream at him? how heart broken he gonna be, and Do i know he love me in a way I m not an option?? and I wonder how heartbroken is him when I slammed the door and sent him those harsh text but he never scold me and This is what I am... a cold blooded girlfriend... with tears I grabbed my phone and tries to call him the whole day... but no one answered...
After a few week, Winnie invited me to a party... a party where no one laugh... I m here standing infront of his memorial yard... Winnie told me... He was having a hard time fighting the Pain alone and without anyone support he gave up... and He has go back to God's side but he left me a letter,
'Dear,
Sorry from hiding some many stuff from you lately... in the box... there is your phone and a laptop...I hope you get colour bright result to enroll into one of the universities... From Nathan'
I turned on the laptop and I cried even more... He editted our first date photo till the recent once as screen savers.... and I make a big missunderstand ... and I dont have that chances to say this.... Nathan, Baby, I am sorry.
A short life story of love from BeAr.
