Happy Birthday to you....

'Happy birthday to you.... happy birthday to you.... happy birthday to you.. My Baby'.. continue with a crying tone... today is your 19 birthday and i was here with the cheese cake that once you like to have on your birthday.... It reminds me alot about you... and believe it when i say i miss you...

Still remember last year,the year where we meet each other when we are working part time near the convienent store.. is kinda funny where you look so angry when i accidentally drop a can of baked bean on the floor and you scolded me with the charming voice... at first, I found you are pretty annoying.. because of the bossy look in that working uniform.. and that was our first meeting.. Gosh.. is one outstanding one...

Did you remember that on the last day of working where you were crying near the stake of book in the very corner of the shop.. and i walked over and out of the blue i started to ask and make a laugh on your face... i told you..no matter how, i be there when you need me.. and since then we become buddies..

After exchanging our contact, we almost text each other everyday and tell each other about our days and calm each other when we were in bad day.. And during the fall,we planned to go out for a movie... it was so hilarious when we argue about what to watch.. you are going for the romantic Romeo and Juliet and i was getting my guts ready for Mission Impossible 2...but at last.. both of us when for the romantic one where we seated on F4 and you cried on my shoulder when they die..and i hug you so tight and that is the first time we gets so close.

On that winter,I invited you to my house for thanksgiving and christmas party where you were so nervous and confused what to wear and in the end... you showed up in front of my foyer with a white blouse and a long trouser and the first question you asked me' What are you laughing at?'... and we enjoyed that christmas eve night with harmony and peace...That night we have alot of wain were your face turn red and mine nose turn rudolf..And with my guts ready... i told you that i might in love with you but... you ask me to said it when i was fully concious.

Another 4 hour will be the arrival of new year... this time i was sure that i m clear and good... so i ask you again... and on that special night.. we have our first couple new year count down...Since then we were the sweetest couple in town, we make cupid proud by making those single become couples and couples become fathers and mothers...

We had a bad arguement that march... you ran out from the house with tears falling down and i chase you and hug you at the porch of your house... i held your hand... i sweared..i will never let you go.. i will respect you and make you one of the happiest lady among the 9 planet..and we have our first kiss there..and i promise myself that i would never dump you alone.. and love you down to the earth crust.

That night was a silent and cool night... and i was hungry and sick on bed.. you cried sadly and make me some food even you can fry a pouch egg.. you're checking my temperature all night long and holding my hand whispering softly to my ears about our future so i would heal and hug you again..but my ill is getting more severe and i was admitted to the hospital... Sorry i made you worry..

That morning after you had your breakfast and while you walking to the school... there was a robbery happening near the corner and shots were fired... and you are terrify,screaming and running for your life... i was just around the end.. when the robbers reverse their car... they run my baby over... they end you life.... do they realized you mean the whole world to me.... and i was unable to rescue you..I held your hand in mine... and i said.. Oh God, Please live her.. I beg for Your Mercy... and as soon we arrive to the emergency room.. You hold me close... Whispering in a dying tone...'Dear, i am sorry that i could not make it.. but..... this is the present that i bought for you... happy birthday...' And that last breath... you dump me alone in sorrows... My Heart was breaking... i hug your cold body and scream for help but... the docters was unable to have you back........

'Even My heart break and shattered to small pieces... i still miss and love you with these pieces'

in a crying tone.... This boy sat near the girl's grave to celebrate her birthday... he misses her alot... because of twisted fate... his love had left him memories and every year..he came to his beloved grave to celebrate her birthday and chat with her so.. their happy memories will be alive again...

>Bear Wangler<

I am still the Luckiest girl...

I was sitting under the trees and i look up upon the wide big blue sky.. just wonder how big is the world outside,i was born and grow up here... My mum, who is a teacher in a local kindergarden teacher and my dad was a worker who work for the logistics company...and i just turn 17 three days ago.. yes.. my parents celebrate my birthday and i receive tans of wishing on my facebook and mt twitter.. but there is a special one that i hope it not just a sincere friendship wish..

So, He is Adam... we went to the same school this fall, he was in artical class while i was taking my music class... quite often we bums into each other in the cafeteria in our school.. i was falling deep for him.. People said 'Falling from a high tower is never as pain as falling in love'... even i was in love in him, i never have a chance to tell him that i .... him... maybe i was born with natural shyness...

As school end, while i was packing my bag and i saw him outside my lecture hall,so.. i walked out and ask him what can i help? and he smile and turn away... Did he just smile at me? Gawd... i almost faint... and one day.. i ask my mum about boys,date and having a relationship which trigger my mum anger and she scream and scolded me seem i was have a F+ for my examination... She said we should never date at this early stage of life.. And the stories goes.. She nagged me for a good hour... And she eventually told my dad bout this.. and worst still my dad thought i was getting horny..... Oh... Mess up....

That day was raining, Adam was soaking wet and stands in front of my balcony and when i open the window.. he said he had looking and secretly having feeling towards me and now he hope we can sparks something good out of the soaking situation..and i agree without acknowledging my parents.. and the coming years,he treated me as well as he can, he cook for me even he is not good at that,he make me smile when i was crying and plans a beautiful birthday party for me... at this moment of life, i thought i was the luckiest girl that Good ever see since he created human.

One day, when i come home, my mum was throwing some love letters where she discover when she clean my room and in a harsh voice,she scolded me but this time she was scolding me like i was pregnant and ready to labour without her permission to have sex... and When my dad come home,the arguement and scolding get even worst... is like world war 5 under alien invasion... and the day after tomorow,they had made up their mind.. they are going to move to the sub town where i will never see Adam again.. And i was force to leave..

I ran to Adam's house and told him about this then this is the first time i see him cry..with his stubborn behaviour, He take me to my parents and ask for a blessing which turn up to be a fight... and with force... i was been move to the sub town... but Adam never give up... every sunday..he take a bus to a eathing place which name 'Al-Migo' where we meet to lesser our missing sorrows... and this continue for 5 years.... and he was getting weaker and weaker..i know he is tired,but he still want to visit me as often as he can.. and my heart breaks... every night.. i said my little pray to the lord to make him stronger....

One day, is a raining morning where i was date to meet him at Al-Migo and he did not appear after six hour... and i was shock and worry so i run away from home and took a bus to visit him at the old hometown where my sweet memories take place....but... he had move... with tears soaked my face.. i went home and i wait everyday until 15 of march...

15 of March... i wake up and i collect the newspaper from the front porch where i accidentally glance the first page.. it was bolded 'Adam's Said I Love You'..and i pack my thing and took a bus to the venue... as soon i arrived, i saw many of our high school friend whom dress in black and white and i saw his parents and my tears was dropping as soon i saw the grave which crave.. Adam Mccupid 1992-2010.... four minute later,my parents arrive and i was so sad that i hug his grave and poiting my finger to them and said 'this is what you all made,all we want is your blessing..all we wants is to have each other but because you all said we are not fit,this happened'.. is was a nightmare of heart break to see your loved ones leave you alone.... Adam's mum said he had an accident when he tried to locate me and when he have my address,he took a bus to visit me but he meet an accident where he coma for 4 years and as soon he awake,he ran out from the hospital and while he cross the road,he was hit by a lorry.. and he hold his last breath to ask someone to tell me,that Adam love Zaciet....and he pass away while holding the last love letter i sent to him... and i was late..... this is the moment where i gone out of control.. I whisper beside his grave.... 'I was here now Adam... i will never dump you but....you left me alone..'

Here am i... sitting under the tree..lookin upon the wide blue sky and wonder who... just who can bring Adam back to me... because..... I Miss him and the missing will always reminds me.... There is someone whom love me always like Adam.. I still once the Luckiest girl that loved by Adam.

Bear Wanglers lastest Night love story......

Baby..Where Are You?

Here we are again... He was cooling down in the study room while i am taking my deep breath outside the balcony... this balcony used to belong to a sweet and happy couple whom cuddle on the bench.. under the romantic sunsets and counting star together on this very bench where i am sitting.. Lately.. we seem to argue alot.. He look different from the person i met 3 years ago... while thinking and enjoying the air.. i pull out a photo album from the book shelf.. on the front page...'Our Love Seeds'..but why this very sweet love turn sour after some times... as i was thinking... Tears wet my cheeks...

We seem to be so close but our heart seem so far apart..i decided to let memories cheer me up.. as i close my eyes... i saw him in the library where i met him and fall in love with him... that smile...a normal smile where seem ordinary to others but it really brighten my days with hope.. and i open my eyes going through the first page of the photo album... on the top left hand corner... is our first photo session where i force him to give me a big hug in the public,as i glance through... The bottom picture remind me that was the first time he kiss me on my cheek during christmas eve.. it sooth me a little..

After looking through a couple page of the album... I couldn't help myself where i put the album back to the shelf and ran to the study room where he is standing near the window.. without a word... i hug him from behind... whispered beside him...'Dear,i miss you'...and he turn around and held my hand where he seek for my forgiveness... and i cried in the warmth hug of his....

He took me to the balcony where we sit and talk about what happen lately around us... and work make him stress up.. i know i shall show him that he always have my support..no matter how.. i realized we do need each other...

But soon after that he start anothher arguement again... and he drove out from the house and leave me behind... with a shattered heart..i sat on the door step witha bottle of whiskey and looking at the clock as every minute past by... Yes.... I need you now... is a quarter after one.. i m a little drunk and i need you now.. soon after that i sleep off....

When i awake..is 4am in the morning... where i was still crying... with my pajamas on.. i went out to the street and look for you... I was wandering the town asking people around me to bring you back to me... i was holding our photo album and this journey continue.. i walk down that road.... Baby,where are you... come back to me... i was standing near the traffic and screaming so you could heard me.. until a point where i was exhausted and dirty... and you do not turn up... You promise me that you never dump me alone...please fulfill your promise... I know i was childish sometimes..but i was wrong... my only wish now is to have you back...

Finally realize..... You are no longer here... but i still miss you and love you as you were here...

~A teared piece from a girl diaries where she still looking around for her boyfriend even he is no longer here...... Sometimes..we do not really see the value of someone...but...when they is gone.. tears will no longer help.. Cherish the one you love without regreting.......

A BeAr Wangler love story..