How true is true love??

Many people around the world flies north to south, east to west for a simple element where is known as true love.. When you try to type in wikipedia suggestion for the real meaning... The computer shows many options...but there is not even a single one have the correct answer... how frustating... But, for me.... Real and true love means freedom.. there is a saying.. Try to let go on the things that you love the most,if it comes back to you, it means.. is yours, if not, then just thanks for the memories'... well, I always reminds myself.. nothing beside me will be an ever last product.. Therefore... If you got my phone... You see many strange photo in it... because... Photo and memories stay the same even then subject change...

My Love,My Life, and My Family.. their are my most important assets.. therefore.. if someone lays a hand on them.. I make sure revenge will be the price to pay..

Sometimes, i will have my memories flash back when some music were played... thinking to correct my past may save the present me... How could anyone forget the dark memories? the pain that triggers tears? Is there.. the vital organs... The Heart.. it have endless space to save a life span memories.... There were joy and laughter... there were cries and sorrow.. and this were the things that no one understand better than yourself.. and another horrible thing that you do to anyone is the word.. 'I Swear'... to avoid making your loves One in further pain.. Don't ever say I swear I love you forever.. this is because when You aint love them anymore... You just made yourself a invinsible murderer... The pain and the tears you made them surfer..

Just say that... I love you for ten years.. after that ten years, if you guys still in relation just add the duration... Trust me... That lesser the pain..

True love do not exist..... True love are there when You know they loved you from the bottom of their heart... Dun say 'I Love You always'..... Say You have the keys to my heart... when every thing disappear from your life.. Just start back another new life, suicide never solve problem.... it only show the stupidity and idiotism of you... I never make everything to stay with me... I believe... i am having the right thing at the right time... Love honest, Love Loyal... God made everyone is anyone special love One... because.. God knows.. it take two to creat harmony and warmth.

Updatements of my humble life.

Times really flies... is 25th of february now... and i was still the guy that you see me last night but i have get myself a new job with nice post.. I was overjoy because the Manager who interview me and look into my eyes and shake my hand while congrate me because of my qualification and life exprience.. He hired me.
Well, I was overjoyed but at the mean time.... i was in worries. Yes... I worry bout her who cant really take care herself and she was kinda emo whenever i said i get a job.. Maybe she worry that no one would be with her when she needed help,She may also worry that i may cheat her by having other spouse.. or worst till it may crack our relationships.
But whatever i am doing now is like buying an insurans which help and guarantee our life in the future... to be honest here.. I have really decide to save an amount of money and by the right time ticks... I would really want to propose her to be my life partner.. so when ever i work, my goal to achieve is to have a warmth family with her... and when ever i free, i like to imagine and eager to taste the feeling like holding her hand on the church alter, hugging her after a day of hard work and holding our child in hand.. Happily ever after... But before that happen... In the coming 4 to 5 years.. i try to work my head off and i really hope she understands..

Teens in 2011 never fail to dail 911.

Well, This is what i felt in nowadays social community.. everyone gone frenzy in making profit and harvesting fortune in the rat race.. and the is lack of relaxation in the society. Example,Those parents who work their ass off for the family,those teenagers whom sent to school to practice and enchance themselves to be the next generation of others slave that conclude you and me... sigh.. and the cycle go round and round and continue to round and pass on to the next generation..

STOP!!

Why would I say that Teens in 2011 never fail to dail 911??
well these is the following cause:

1) Their lack of self-control.
2) Parents were always busy on getting a task done.
3) The Freaking education system is murdering our generation.

So, lets talk bout the first cause..

Teens were getting out of control or [T.G.O.U.O.F]
What do i really mean by that? look when a teenager step into ages 14-16,They are the most weak stage of life, In this stage, They seem to be curious about their body part.. and asking many unrated question and urges for answer.. for boys, they may curious about sex and then here come help... Da da.. The Internet.. there was a saying.. When there is a question, Google have the answer... so that why porn website was another growing community.. so, they have miss used the internet for better knowledge in sex... how clever.

Parents seem to work like slaves.
In this topic, I don't blame the parents whom work like slaves to keep the family alive, The blame will go to the higher level.. yup... Is the boss or Chairman.. Why? Because that guy make your parents to run a D.O.F situation or Do Or Fired... so, in order to buy you new phone and feed you.. They left with no choice.. and here the problem start.. You keep on causing problem for silly attention and keep on hurting your poor mom and dad mentally.. You get started to do with drugs,alcohol,partying and which most likely ending up some where near the alley drunk and having sex with multiple partner.. so, when you get mad and need to gun someone down when u been abandon by your parents, remember.. always aim the higher level.. They have insurans, so, a 9mm handgun may do the job.

The Freaking murdering Education system.
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT NOT EVERY PERSON WHO HAVE BORN IN THIS WORLD FEELS GREAT TO BE A NERD!
Is so true that education may turn you into a smart and high level slave,but have the body whom take charge in the education system be more humane against our child?? My cousin sister who just age 7 need to carry a bag of book like she is going to world war 2.. and my Girlfriend who a pre-university student carries her book like a soldier carries a year of life stock to war... and they say everything will be computerised.. well, F**k off.. it wont be in the place we were now... After the tensions and murdering class, Many student seem to get a bottle of alcohol or a bag of drug to relax.. so, flash back.. who's fault it really is?

Jay Chou say I am not Worthed

Today i get my public examination result through the website and trust me... i almost cried when i see that... I get score pretty colours for my language paper but a havoc for the compulsory elements..That second stop there.. i felt my soul had left my cold body..

That result crash me inside out and almost ruin my organs,Without thinking about any senses... I surf out to Hotjobs2U.com to get a job and get myself a night course centre.. and i found one... Is from the Alkama Gamemaster company which they are hiring sales supervisor,so i send them my resume and wait for the management Mr Leong to call me for an interview...I really cross finger for the job..

At 3 pm or 15oo,i reached home and pushed myself to my bed.. with the schattered pieces heart of mine,I start to hate myself,starting to wonder of thousand reasons, I sacrifice many of my golden oppurtunities to push myself deeper into learning and making big fortune..Will this gamble worthed what i pray for? an eternity lock.. after awhile i felt asleep...

By 6pm in the 1800.... i was awake by 2 text from my hopeful one.... somehow... i really hope that she understand that i burn myself to glow her life... i kept my promise,i stay here... and at one point of a quarter seconds... I ask myself.... What if.... What if she left or walk away from my life, from hero i become zero...... Will i be worthless,hopeless and shameness to be with her? Just how sweet is sweet is? how lovely is love is?? and how warmth will it be to let coldness chill me again?

a moment in 2230.... I took my laptop and sat on my bed for 30 minutes...after taking a deep breath... it answer my question.... if she left me for a better dude,I just wish her happy always and blissful through out life... If that happen, I will never fall in love again...

Love aint pain as it seem,
Love aint seem disasterous as it spell
Love aint kills when u wrote or refine it..
but, Love was the greatest murder that blue collars never nabbed.

When..

When i saw you at the first time,I know god sent you to recolour my dark life.

When i talk to you with the first time,I found myself the sweetest melody that make my life better.

When i sat near you the first time, cupid is ready for the aiming.

When i hold your hand for the first time,The fireworks light up in my heart.

When i hug you the first time,i found the warmth that comfort my heart all this years.

When i kiss you for the first time, I know i have you in my future.

When you cry for the first time, i realize i must protect you for life.

When you walk in.......

I say: For the first time..... I found you... and the right you.. for good or for bad,for poverty and sick,from happy to tears... i will honour you,respect you,love you and be with you till death drag us apart....'I do'...



Love You

Just be friends

All we gotta do is just be friends,that summer you and i was supposed to enter the same university,but,maybe fate twist us.. we end up locating in the same lecture hall with you sitting next to me,i admit silently... i think i fall in love with you,still fresh in memories... you ask for my name and my cell phone number so we can each other.. :)

After several meet ups, You told me you love him..the him of never me.. And i smile with a cut in the heart.. i should tell you i like you in the first place, its time to say good bye to you... i surfer these pain because i knew i never own the story that i pray to be in... :'(

During that fall, You ask me to company you, and beside the the poles under the blue umbrella, a special between you and me... You seek for a place to weep.. and my shoulder is up for that...wondering to hug you... but i never do so.... I knew you was in pain too.. I love you and you love him...
is Graduation day.... is also a day in my diary which i noted as hurting... Me, You and him...I saw where this heading too... i know my night pray do not carry me to a place where you seem perfectly match... and i know.... i know.... ALL WE GOTTA DO IS........... JUST BE FRIENDS.

#this is a piece from his diary....

Sparks

Tonight i was really in a surpress mood... i found i did nothing good, and whatever i did it seem like nothing, i mean like trash... no value, even a piece of trash is more valuable... I know that if you cant study hard your life some how or rather is gonna be hardly sustain.. because of this fact, I keep telling my girlfriend whom studying in the pre University to get her head on and study for better future, but my advise is fully wasted.. LET ME REPEAT..WASTED!...ok ok.. fine.. then When i told her that i am trying to enrol in a college to enchance my study and hope it may make my life atleast better.. and she gone frenzy insane and thinking that i m going to get someone new.. Oh My Gawd!!! GIVE ME A BREAK WILL YA!.... Think from my point of making better toward our life... and some time i really get innocently blame for nothing! You people out there, can you tell me what the big different between 2 year and 7 month... is 2 YEAR and 7 MONTH!! Why the hell she must put our love in comparison with her friends and her own sister... GIVE ME A BREAK WITH THAT! Can you think from my side?? i am just a human..... Tonight i really tired and sick of arguing... so bloody, i keep myself silent.... I need my own space... SPARKS~~!!!

Understand me?

I found it very annoying when someone who don't really know me and act really understand me, Every single behaviour of mine show you how i felt, The most simple way to understand me is through what song am i listening to from time to time.. i rarely shows how i felt.. if there is something who truelly understand me that is my cell phone, whenever and where ever i am.. i listen to music a lot.. From chinese to korean to english... from rock to medley... as long it suit my mood on this current hour.... it seem there is one song rank me comfort the most... it gonna be Epik High's One minute One second... well,i love this song a lot.
Whenever i listen to this song... all my sweet memories seem they are coming back..putting a smile on my face, those sweet memories, those person in my memories and those place reminds me bout them.. There is always someone whom know where to find me whenever i switch off my phone and when my tears were running down, the place where i found myself safe,like a child feel safe in the hug in his parents hug... This very person is my sister..and with the playing songs she know what state of mood i in.... and she know how to put a smile on my face and that is understanding... the simple concept is, You understand my songs you understand me.

Me born as Bear Wangler

You must be kinda blur or confuse about why an asian boy would call himself a bear.. well, let me explain..
'Bear Wangler'

I was born in september where summer of 1991 take place,and my sister give a my real name.. a name that been given to me based on a cruel king.. Nixolas..a king who kills his army and his beloved wife cruelly..and my first name gonna surpress my evil that is Aloysuis... so, it sound something like Aloysuis Brown Nixanders a.k.a ABN..hahaha..

After a series of parents rebelation...This young boy slowly begin to think maturely,looking everything and every single matter in different angle, My public record gonna be skipping school at 16,involved in street fight at 17 and getting into the cell for detention at 18.. at the age of 19, I begin to really get and suit myself into my life... people do say that.. U never know if you don't try.. so, i try almost every single thing.. from swimming to fighting, from A to Z, from North to South...and now... I am a adolesence, but 20 should be a man..haha...

Let me see..ermm.... I have my friends, I have my Family and I have a good Girlfriend, until now.. My life were good,and there is many things out day waiting for me to taste them.. I don't really have personalities.. I am those guys who do not like to speak unless is a must,i like to observe and resuit and my mind is thinking and spinning 24/7 .. so.. My Buddies and some of my Blog Fans call me Bear because i m quite plump..hahaha.. and soon they start calling me 'BeAr Wangler' which also mean a boy who exprience more and see life in different angle.. and That's me


Frm; BeAr Wangler

P.D.A

What a hot night.. i just came out from the chilling shower so,my hair kinda dam..so is impossible to sleep,therefore let on my laptop and sat on my bed and surf the net while i blog or facebooking...is a very usual thing for me when i on the computer and sign in to my msn, facebook, twitter,yahoo and myspace..haha..

Bringing me to tonight topic..

'Why people whom date always feel their couple arent as sweet as the other pair?' Weird right??

Do you felt the same? why? did your boyfriend or girlfriend do not kiss or hug you in public or they arent romantic enough?

Really but true..this annoyed many couple.. looking at the other pair and will you wonder why the hell my boyfriend do not hug me in public or why my girlfriend do not call me tweenky name out loud.... to me... this is what i catergorise them as {P.D.A} or :

P== Public
D==Display
A==Affection

To me is ok if you give your partner a peck of the lips once and awhile,but not GROSS kissing in front of the public.. Oh Ghezz.. return to my point.. Somehow,not all people have the same mentality to show their romantic side so easily... and nowadays people had become more materialistic... Which damn rules state that 'couple must give present to each other every big day??' Who will be that mad??? I personally see a couple whom break up because the boy unable to present or surprise the girl.... oh Gawd... Imagine this,if a girl want a new surprise everyday is ok,but what if the girl wants a Louis Vuiton bag for every breakfast??

I do not mean that is bad to be a good boyfriend... be a good and raw boyfriend,be mild and stern on the right moment... anyway, if you are dating a girl that cost your life every morning.. my best advise... Dump her or Change her... and for those who know how to use P.D.A at the right time.. keep it on and i wish you have a great and romantic lovey dovey time~

Finally.. I believe.

Many people say the more you love the more you pain.. or vice versa... Remember when you re 14 and your parents said that 'son,if you get a girlfriend at this age is equally getting yourself in trouble'..if any phrase you reminds... Haha.. well, many of my friend thinks that i m a ladies boy as i solve many of they arguements and love problem.. many think it take me a million of date and a decade of break up to be a problem solver.. but, the truth is... I do not date much.. counting up to my current relationship... is only my 3rd time.. to be a solver is easy, just be her man... i mean making up decision where she feel comfortable with.. We are man, so, be polite be good listener and be a good bed for her to say out her problem.. then u may ask,' Hey dude,What if i get mad??' My answer is keep your mouth shut relax and chill with a hack, U'll be fine then..

I remember once i argue with my beloved, at split second..i was like killing her,after a chill cool down.. i realize she is caring and my brain were thinking ways to make her happy back... MAN ARE THE MOST EGO ANIMAL HE EVER CREAT.. But if a man can put his ego away... he is a good and potential partner.. haha.. i think..

if you know korean like i do... Listen to Epik High-Pieces of You with sub on... You indulges the meaning.. haha..

Between nowadays many teenager were so indulges in ONE NIGHT STAND, PARTY TILL DAWN and ETC, My Reminder.. Please,before you do anything to damage yourself please think about the word FAMILY.

FAMILY= Father And Mother I Love You

Your mom, get pregnant for 9 freaking hell month to made you a happy harmony child as you destroy the body and love you get in 9 minutes??

Your Father, work in soaked tears and sweat to earn a bag of rice to feed the family and you thank him by partying like a hooligans???

Finally, I believe that everyone is everyone's sweetheart... No matter who you are,what race you in, which angle of life you from... There is always someone God sent to love,to honour, to respect and nevertheless to be with you always and forever..

Blues Blues and mind to free me away?

Well,my result will reveal soon... The Highest Examination in the country... at this very moment,I feel I been struck by Zues's lighting bolt, charges by the hell fire and knock by two heavy weight boxer... oh gosh... in conclusion,My Journey of getting to college or universities may end here..
Sigh...

I do not regret for the things that i chose to not get it.. So,I gotta get some work on hand...a second job, While surfing the net today,i found myself a jobs which my basic sector..Customer service..so,i would like to give fate and myself a chance... hoping to get the job and work.

Studies is important,Finally realizing why my old man would get a stroke to make me as educated as he could..But, do my future really tied to those innocent yet recyclable paper??? To many people ,Certificate from the learning sector seem to be a high reputation for certain people to face the society... My Parents would high die the price and make sure they learn to made and earn money to kept the family in a part..

Money, The root of evil.... created mayhem, created rat race,created abuse, money seem so pure and innocent but..... it had taken over our mind bit by bit and kill humanity little by little.. I close my eyes and try to see my future.. do you know what i saw???

People walking around with full stacked, I MEAN FULL STACKED of Money.. What the lord have happen to them... Money buy humanity?

Yes, I need to have a sum of amount but not to the limit that i would bring a briefcase of cash to a mall.. it would be idiot...

My Biggest Concern............. Can Money buys my love away?? Can Money washes our sweet memories? i know..... i fail this exam right from the start.. Say or point out my stupidity ...... Whatever i did... i never betray my humanity.. I never make life gone... I just live my life in a easier and less complete way....

Baby Baby Baby oh...

Hahaha.. yup.. is Justin Bieber's song..too bored while awake midnight.. haha..
So,i was ill last night,a sore throat and a bad cough eventually.. clinic was like my only destination... after a visit to the docs.. i went back to the room and my Wife was like 'No..no..You cant eat this and You Can eat that' And note my mobile like prevention... But, i know she is caring, haha.. what to do? She is mine what.. hahaha..

Well,so how is anything and everything?? Is the havoc gone miserable and hell gets loose? haha...
As for me...this is was took place..My Events:

a) Jason finally get married on 14/2/2011
b)Carter and Viven engaged on 14/4/2011
c)My career step further..
d)My Wife getting cuter and cuter.. haha...my [傻婆]

Valentines was on last night.. but due to my unhealthy conditions..we was unable to celebrates but i still made her 'Le-Marie' for breakfast,which is a couple breakfast popular in germany during the 60th century..and we have our quick lunch at kopitiam...I found something like damn strange... even the people hussle around in the sea of busy social... My Wife was getting cuter and more kawaii-er... that smile and that look.. its kills...

My chinese new year?? Best Part..
haha... FINALLY... I bought my FIRST Girlfriend home and everybody look at me like..'He is a big boy now'..hahaha.. My Grandpa and Grandma seem warmly and harmonyly to accept her to be apart of our family.. Even my uncle gave me a thumbs up and a bright green light... Even sometime she like very noisy but.... she look cute with that... hahaha.. sometimes when it struck me by standing light speed... i miss the hugs... sometimes felt like' tell me Babay, You miss me too..I m gonna crazzy over you'.... hey,i m not mad... Just having those couple moments ok... haha......

Valentines doesn't mean buying each other precious gifts... sometimes the heart matter...
'I Love You'
look simple but dazzle...

What if?

What if the sun rise and i m gone?
You may find me at the point where the sea meet the sun.

What if the hard point and i am gone?
You may find me in the closet where we have our first hug.

What if it never feel good and i am gone?
Find me at a place where barks and howls are.

What if one lost trust and i am gone?
Find me at an empty valley with only a lamp on.

What if tears are on and I am gone?
Find me beside a old piano which i played a song.

What if pain are long and i am gone?
Play that song and let it born.

What if ........ I never return?
Find me under a giant oak tree where my grave lays alongs.

Author: Benjamin Brown VII