Is Never To Late

There is my goddess,the girl whom taking Venurable arts stream.. i like her very much... Look at her watery eyes,her charming smile and the gentle voice...I wish to ask her out for a date to the university prom night.. So, i take my guts and try to fight my way to her, and after a struggle...finally.. We both share a bond now... a friendship... so,we text each other every night and slowly..as time goes by, i found myself love her and i do not dare to told her..afraid being turn over.. sighs.... so, I just be there when she need protection the most.

One sunny evening.. She told me that she had a fall on someone...someone that so near with me,that is Benny.. My bests friend... and she ask me for helping her to be his.. but... did her know i m crying while i texting? At that night,when night falls... i barely sleep... memories of our happy moment had damage its replay button as those memories kept coming back.. what should i do? Lord... Why this turn out like this... so, I help them to get to the phrase of 'In a Relationship with'.. and i am a solo hurt patient... I hold this pain deep inside even it kills me when she told me how she love him and what she love about him... But, Baby,do you know,Your happiness is killing me deep.. and trying to conclude my life? even i am in such situation... I did my best to make her happy and wish them have a blissful life...

During the summer break, An accident happened... They went to the beach and unfortunately.. she was knock by a car when she is crossing the road after obtaining a bottle of carbonated drink for him.. and she is admitted to the emergency room..After a cycle of treatment.. Docter and Surgeon acknowledge us.. she had lose her sight and also damage one of her kidney after the traumatic incident.. When Benny knows... we both share the biggest pain together... We know we both love her... and she is in comma... is hard to get the perfect donor who really save her and suit her characteristics.... So, I call out Benny and we had a big dicussion...and we come to a conclusion...

After 3 month, she finally awake and fully healed after 2 major surgeries.. Benny took her home and they celebrate her healthy life again.. so, they happy love story ccontinue.... Until one day... She realize someone is missing..... is me who missing and she sent me a folder of message and scolding me for leaving her even she treated me as best friend...She is in sober, she cried hardly and seek for me among the ocean of people..

One day, Benny took her to a old folk house.. and he told her i was inside waiting to meet her... as soon she walk in... she saw a guy who sitting on his wheel chair and blind who look so familiar... When Benny walk in... He told her that 3 month back... i call him out that night... we discuss how to save her and i made this move.... I donated my eyes and kidney to her... i never regret, on my wheel chair,i reach out to her and touch her face.... i realized she is crying.... and she asked me,why would i do that? why i save her? and she still thinks i leave her alone..... She seek for my apologize... Then, I told her.... Even i loses my eyes and kidney.. even it may took my life... i still gonna save you...because... I love you and i know you love benny ..so, i kept this secret to myself.. i buried this secret to myself.... and Is Never to Late to let You know.. i still love you but.. I do not wish you to suffer anymore pains... so, Please take Benny's hand and cherish this love... Because i am stupid.... I love You in my heart.

#a teared piece from a blind man old diary....'is never to late to do something,it just need hardwork and belief.'

La'ex Memories

Lately... i find i hard for me to sleep in the night, so i drove my car out midnight to see those scenery that normal people would never realized... and I found no matter how busy a street be during the day,when night falls... the busy day street found its emptyness and loneliness during the night.. It come to a point where i stop my car and i step into a bus stand and exprience the loneliness in the night.. The cold breeze and the silence surrounding told me a story...

The bus stop which student,senior citizen and passer-by use in the day may seem so solid.. but.. without the bus.. the bus stop seem bored and pain... The street's light... they shines the road and it make my shadow visible on the road... the street.... have it own story to tell.. and is 2 am... i was sitting in the bus stop to think about this life... given by her 19 years and 9 months ago... what i did in the past and i bring me back to my memories.... I see a slide show of my own life... i see the pain i cause and the joy i bring.. Is cold out here.. this moment make me desires for my mother's hug and my father smile... those warmth feeling that make me grown... I miss my grandpa and my grandma.. even they seem old but... they were my most treasure parents.. and however... there is a part of my memories that brings me back where my ex-girlfriend slap me... the pain moment and every bad memories... i know this is the time... i should dump them in the road... i shall leave them here.. and carries my happy times with me... And i meet two new friends in this road.. one is a telephone stand and the other is the tree.. I am so grateful to them, one stay there to help when accidents occur and the other help to produce oxygen and shelter to the needs... Somehow, i asked myself... 'Why should i be so greedy??' "why should i be so reckless bout the things that i must get in my life?'......... I should live a life where i can help the needs and love those i already have.... This night and this very one road teaches me to be grateful of what i have and what i don't... I name this road... My la'ex memories.... In Old english mean... Let's be grateful tonight.

My Life if i am single again...

Well, does anyone or only me who thinks what happen if this and that happen like this? what if i become single again, and how my life turn out if i still single... Oh well... I think.. is gonna be like this is i stay single... a rewind for my life.

If i stay single at 2010 september, i never meet my current girlfriend.. and i study and pack nice for my exams.. after that,I gonna work at that shop and get my paid as usual.. and exprience the pain of tuesday.. then moving on... i have a good time with my family.. pass my chinese new year with those dudes and stand alone or wear 'I m proud to be single' on valentine.. after my result were open.. i may enrolling into my dream university and choosing a course for my career.. getting a homestay and getting more new mates and friends at the university.. or fall in love with a senior.. lol.. just kidding.. Thats is maybe my life will be if i am single...

For now... i have 3 major goal to achieve which yet to come.. i need to make my career that can support a family not a girlfriend and i need to get myself 2 cars and a house... and the last one .. I need to get a owner for my house and also a owner who sleeps beside me on bed... My Life at this point.. i am struggling hard.. but, i know.. what i fight for now... is worthed in future... so, to me now, if my girlfriend can't withstand the challenges.. i would never mind that she dump me,But of course i Love her... Because... I am not those guy who looking for a girlfriend... I am those guy who is looking for a wife.. I Make myself clear here.

Ps: lately... My girlfriend acknowledge me, there is a fan page of my blog on facebook... i don't know who do that page.. But, I really thanks him/her for giving me this honour.. Thank You, Mr Dedicater.. Have a nice day.

How true is true love??

Many people around the world flies north to south, east to west for a simple element where is known as true love.. When you try to type in wikipedia suggestion for the real meaning... The computer shows many options...but there is not even a single one have the correct answer... how frustating... But, for me.... Real and true love means freedom.. there is a saying.. Try to let go on the things that you love the most,if it comes back to you, it means.. is yours, if not, then just thanks for the memories'... well, I always reminds myself.. nothing beside me will be an ever last product.. Therefore... If you got my phone... You see many strange photo in it... because... Photo and memories stay the same even then subject change...

My Love,My Life, and My Family.. their are my most important assets.. therefore.. if someone lays a hand on them.. I make sure revenge will be the price to pay..

Sometimes, i will have my memories flash back when some music were played... thinking to correct my past may save the present me... How could anyone forget the dark memories? the pain that triggers tears? Is there.. the vital organs... The Heart.. it have endless space to save a life span memories.... There were joy and laughter... there were cries and sorrow.. and this were the things that no one understand better than yourself.. and another horrible thing that you do to anyone is the word.. 'I Swear'... to avoid making your loves One in further pain.. Don't ever say I swear I love you forever.. this is because when You aint love them anymore... You just made yourself a invinsible murderer... The pain and the tears you made them surfer..

Just say that... I love you for ten years.. after that ten years, if you guys still in relation just add the duration... Trust me... That lesser the pain..

True love do not exist..... True love are there when You know they loved you from the bottom of their heart... Dun say 'I Love You always'..... Say You have the keys to my heart... when every thing disappear from your life.. Just start back another new life, suicide never solve problem.... it only show the stupidity and idiotism of you... I never make everything to stay with me... I believe... i am having the right thing at the right time... Love honest, Love Loyal... God made everyone is anyone special love One... because.. God knows.. it take two to creat harmony and warmth.

Updatements of my humble life.

Times really flies... is 25th of february now... and i was still the guy that you see me last night but i have get myself a new job with nice post.. I was overjoy because the Manager who interview me and look into my eyes and shake my hand while congrate me because of my qualification and life exprience.. He hired me.
Well, I was overjoyed but at the mean time.... i was in worries. Yes... I worry bout her who cant really take care herself and she was kinda emo whenever i said i get a job.. Maybe she worry that no one would be with her when she needed help,She may also worry that i may cheat her by having other spouse.. or worst till it may crack our relationships.
But whatever i am doing now is like buying an insurans which help and guarantee our life in the future... to be honest here.. I have really decide to save an amount of money and by the right time ticks... I would really want to propose her to be my life partner.. so when ever i work, my goal to achieve is to have a warmth family with her... and when ever i free, i like to imagine and eager to taste the feeling like holding her hand on the church alter, hugging her after a day of hard work and holding our child in hand.. Happily ever after... But before that happen... In the coming 4 to 5 years.. i try to work my head off and i really hope she understands..

Teens in 2011 never fail to dail 911.

Well, This is what i felt in nowadays social community.. everyone gone frenzy in making profit and harvesting fortune in the rat race.. and the is lack of relaxation in the society. Example,Those parents who work their ass off for the family,those teenagers whom sent to school to practice and enchance themselves to be the next generation of others slave that conclude you and me... sigh.. and the cycle go round and round and continue to round and pass on to the next generation..

STOP!!

Why would I say that Teens in 2011 never fail to dail 911??
well these is the following cause:

1) Their lack of self-control.
2) Parents were always busy on getting a task done.
3) The Freaking education system is murdering our generation.

So, lets talk bout the first cause..

Teens were getting out of control or [T.G.O.U.O.F]
What do i really mean by that? look when a teenager step into ages 14-16,They are the most weak stage of life, In this stage, They seem to be curious about their body part.. and asking many unrated question and urges for answer.. for boys, they may curious about sex and then here come help... Da da.. The Internet.. there was a saying.. When there is a question, Google have the answer... so that why porn website was another growing community.. so, they have miss used the internet for better knowledge in sex... how clever.

Parents seem to work like slaves.
In this topic, I don't blame the parents whom work like slaves to keep the family alive, The blame will go to the higher level.. yup... Is the boss or Chairman.. Why? Because that guy make your parents to run a D.O.F situation or Do Or Fired... so, in order to buy you new phone and feed you.. They left with no choice.. and here the problem start.. You keep on causing problem for silly attention and keep on hurting your poor mom and dad mentally.. You get started to do with drugs,alcohol,partying and which most likely ending up some where near the alley drunk and having sex with multiple partner.. so, when you get mad and need to gun someone down when u been abandon by your parents, remember.. always aim the higher level.. They have insurans, so, a 9mm handgun may do the job.

The Freaking murdering Education system.
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT NOT EVERY PERSON WHO HAVE BORN IN THIS WORLD FEELS GREAT TO BE A NERD!
Is so true that education may turn you into a smart and high level slave,but have the body whom take charge in the education system be more humane against our child?? My cousin sister who just age 7 need to carry a bag of book like she is going to world war 2.. and my Girlfriend who a pre-university student carries her book like a soldier carries a year of life stock to war... and they say everything will be computerised.. well, F**k off.. it wont be in the place we were now... After the tensions and murdering class, Many student seem to get a bottle of alcohol or a bag of drug to relax.. so, flash back.. who's fault it really is?

Jay Chou say I am not Worthed

Today i get my public examination result through the website and trust me... i almost cried when i see that... I get score pretty colours for my language paper but a havoc for the compulsory elements..That second stop there.. i felt my soul had left my cold body..

That result crash me inside out and almost ruin my organs,Without thinking about any senses... I surf out to Hotjobs2U.com to get a job and get myself a night course centre.. and i found one... Is from the Alkama Gamemaster company which they are hiring sales supervisor,so i send them my resume and wait for the management Mr Leong to call me for an interview...I really cross finger for the job..

At 3 pm or 15oo,i reached home and pushed myself to my bed.. with the schattered pieces heart of mine,I start to hate myself,starting to wonder of thousand reasons, I sacrifice many of my golden oppurtunities to push myself deeper into learning and making big fortune..Will this gamble worthed what i pray for? an eternity lock.. after awhile i felt asleep...

By 6pm in the 1800.... i was awake by 2 text from my hopeful one.... somehow... i really hope that she understand that i burn myself to glow her life... i kept my promise,i stay here... and at one point of a quarter seconds... I ask myself.... What if.... What if she left or walk away from my life, from hero i become zero...... Will i be worthless,hopeless and shameness to be with her? Just how sweet is sweet is? how lovely is love is?? and how warmth will it be to let coldness chill me again?

a moment in 2230.... I took my laptop and sat on my bed for 30 minutes...after taking a deep breath... it answer my question.... if she left me for a better dude,I just wish her happy always and blissful through out life... If that happen, I will never fall in love again...

Love aint pain as it seem,
Love aint seem disasterous as it spell
Love aint kills when u wrote or refine it..
but, Love was the greatest murder that blue collars never nabbed.